We're learning here!

Hello beauties! How are you all doing on this wonderful Friday? I hope all is well with everyone.

This week has been CrAZy! Baby J is on the move and can't be stopped. It is so funny that us parents are always so ready and excited to teach our babies how to crawl but as soon as they do and they are mobile, we curse ourselves because they are everywhere and into everything. But, I wouldn't have it any other way, at least he is developing.

He also hit another milestone this week and decided to give mommy a heart attack at the same time. He pulled himself up! Yay [clapping hands]....but wait, he did it while he was in the crib, and decided to try and climb out! As I heard a scream in his bedroom at nap time, I ran in and he was hanging over his crib rail. EXCUSE ME, MISTER! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!? He didn't answer...

He had never tried pulling himself up on anything else until that moment. Daddy came home that evening and immediately lowered the crib down so that never happens again. 

This incident has inspired my post today. I wanted to talk about some of the first time parent mistakes that we have dealt with. After talking with some of my friends that have new little ones at home, they are first time parents and are terrified that they are going to mess up or that they will be judged for something they have done wrong.

So, for my first time parents let me just share with you some of the things we have done wrong. We aren't perfect, we are learning as we go. That moment when you sign your discharge papers at the hospital immediately brings another level of anxiety. I remember asking my nurses if they could come home with me, they politely declined. I knew we were ready to be parents, but I had that same fear of what if I break him? What if I screw this up and he isn't normal? What are my sisters who have tons of kids going to say if I do something wrong?

I realized that there isn't an exact manual on parenting. Sure, there are the things that say "do this, not that" and you know some of your boundaries. Every child is different, every child reacts to things differently and develops on their own time frame. When I heard that a friends baby that was the same age as Baby J was eating more formula than him, I was worried I wasn't feeding him enough, like I was depriving him. But, I wasn't he just wasn't as hungry all the time as the other baby. They are different!! Please understand when you are reading your precious baby books and searching social media that "My baby is 3 months old and rolling over" doesn't mean that your 3 month old is delayed in development. It will come with time.

As new parents, we do make mistakes. We are learning here! This is a non-judgmental place for you to share those mistakes. We have all made them, whether we share them is another story. But, I will share some of our mistakes so you know you aren't alone.

• I didn't try hard enough to breastfeed. Baby J didn't latch and wanted nothing to do with breastfeeding so I gave up instead of purchasing a pump and trying anyway.
• While we were in the hospital, Baby J wouldn't breastfeed but was crying because he wanted to eat. Our hospital is an exclusive breastfeeding hospital so they will push and push and push for you to keep trying even if that means baby doesn't eat (which is total B.S). I kept trying and he wasn't having it, but cried all night out of hunger and as I kept telling my nurse that he isn't latching and needs food she would tell me to keep trying. I finally stood up and said bring me formula so he can eat and he was a perfect baby after that, other than due to not having food and not passing bowel movements, he was jaundice quite badly. I didn't have a voice for my baby. I messed up and waited too long to stand up for my baby. I learned that he can't speak for himself, so I have to speak for him.
• Up until Baby J was about 3 months old, he had problems with bowel movements. We would have to give him glycerin to help him. I knew he needed to switch to a sensitive formula, but the doctor wouldn't authorize it and told us not to switch unless she authorized it. After those 3 months of nothing getting better, I had to once again get my own voice and switch him anyways. He has been perfect ever since. Once again, speak for your child and go with your motherly instinct.
• Teaching Baby J to sit on his own was horrible. He started sitting next to me on the couch and did fine at that, so I moved him to the floor where he didn't have the back of the couch to lean on. I surrounded him with pillows and sat with him and he was doing SO WELL! But, in walks Daddy and Baby J got excited and lost his balance and somehow missed the pillow and hit his head. He cried for a few seconds and was fine but I felt horrible.
• Our biggest mistake was made when he was 4 months old up until about 2 weeks ago (we are still trying to fix this mistake) and that was Baby J started waking at night crying. He had always slept through the night in his crib since he was about 1 1/2 months old. He was going through a growth spurt, teething and in pain. So what does Mommy do? I bring him to lay with us in bed to comfort him. I rubbed his gums until he went to sleep and he just stayed there. About a month later his teeth finally broke through and he wasn't in as much pain, but it was also the beginning of storm season and he would wake up crying hysterically when it would thunder. So, back to bed with us. He began to be so use to sleeping with us that he didn't want to sleep any other way. We tried every method to get him to sleep in his crib and it wasn't working. I would cave and bring him back and that is the wrong thing to do. So, we had to stick with a schedule and I would lay him in his crib while he was still awake and he would cry and cry and cry but would finally go to sleep. We are still working on getting him to sleep through the night, but he sleeps all night in his crib and that is a big success for us. NEVER LET YOUR BABY SLEEP IN YOUR BED (unless you don't mind it and prefer it that way, which we wanted him back in his crib)
• Pillow barriers are no longer acceptable. For the longest time, when I would get dressed for the day, Baby J sat on our bed and I had pillows all around so he couldn't fall. But, the worse happened when he learned that the pillows can still be crawled on. I stepped out of the room for literally one second to grab my hair brush and *thud* he fell off the bed! All it takes is one second for them to move. Please, please be careful. He never tested his limits with me before until the one time he did and he ended up on the floor. He is completely fine, and when I called the doctor she told me that it happens all the time as bad as that is but he would be fine. I felt like the worst mom in the world.

I hope that some of my mistakes have shown you that we aren't perfect. Things happen and you deal with it. We all have our babies best interests in mind and know that we would never do anything to jeopardize their well being on purpose. But, when you think "there is no way he will try to do that, or there is no way he can get over those" think again.

Share some of your stories in the comments or message me with a story. Just know that you aren't alone. We are still learning and know that no one is the perfect mother. If someone judges you for a mistake, ignore it because I guarantee they have messed up at some point too.

That is it for today! I hope you all have a great weekend! If there is anything you want to discuss or a product you would like me to review please let me know and I am happy to do so!

See you all next time!

-Danielle