The Reality of a Racer's Wife

Happy Hump Day!

I wanted to start off by saying thank you for the great response to last weeks blog. That was Chris' first time writing and he was very concerned on how he did. I told him it was one of the most viewed posts and he was happy to hear that. So, thank you! Maybe he will be more comfortable with writing more posts and post some "manly" blog posts.

I mentioned last week that we had a request for a post about how I deal with being a racer's wife and the strain it can cause on a marriage, along with what I think about Baby J getting involved in the racing scene. This can be a lengthy topic, so I hope I don't ramble on too much! HEHE!!

THE BEGINNING
     As we mentioned in the last post, Chris grew up in a racing family. Racing was second nature to him, and it was one of the most important things in his life. When you have someone who has a hobby that they live and breathe, it is important to take interest in that hobby because the person you have feelings for, has a strong feeling for that hobby.
     I didn't grow up around racing, but close friends of mine that I grew up with had began racing so we made it a point to go out and support them at the track. After going just a few times, I became addicted to the sport. I've always been a so called "tomboy" that didn't mind getting dirty, and liked working on cars. Being at the speedway gave me such a joy. I was going every weekend just to learn the sport and learn more about the cars. My mom even became the track photographer, and she is still the photographer at the same track today.
     I met Chris at the speedway and had seen him race there. We became friends and about a month later we started dating. Our dating relationship wasn't like any other. The time we spent together wasn't just hanging out watching TV, or going to dinner and a movie. Everyday, as soon as I got off work I would change clothes and head out to his parents house. We would have family dinner, and as soon as dinner was over, we were in the garage working on the cars until at least midnight. As we closed up shop, I said my goodbye and headed home to do it all over again the next day.
     Saturdays meant early morning wake up calls and in the garage making last minute changes to the cars, last minute trips to the parts store, sonic happy hour drinks and loading the cars up to head to the track. We would be at the track from about 5pm to sometimes 1am and then head back home to unload the truck and trailer and try and catch some shut-eye. It was clearly something you had to have the passion for to stick with and Chris could tell that I loved it just as much as him, so he proposed a few months later, bought our house and started planning our wedding. We married in 2011 and even in some of our vow, we had stuff about racing.

THE EVERYDAY ROUTINE
     As I mentioned, the everyday routine meant working on the car until late every day of the week until race day. But, with our own home to take care of and family dinner being just the two of us, and no other help for the car other than each other, things changed. We worked, came home and he would be in the garage before I got home. I would make dinner and sometimes have to eat alone because he didn't want to stop in the middle of something, so either he would come in late, or I would take him a plate to the garage. There were more arguments because I needed help with something in the house, or needed him to go with me to the grocery store and he needed to finish up his car. In the end, I knew that the car needed to get finished or we would pay for it on Saturday.
    We rarely had date nights, and most of the time those date nights happened because the races rained out that night or his division didn't race that weekend. After a long week of working on the car, and a long night at the track, we wanted Sunday to recuperate, but Sunday is for washing the car and creating the checklist for the fixes that need to be completed for the next week. No break there. That can take its toll on a relationship, so you have to be able to communicate with one another and tell each other when you need some "non-racing" time.
     Our season can start as early as March and last as late as November. We would race every Saturday night, and sometimes Friday and Sunday too. If there happened to be a rain out, it would be scheduled during the week on a Wednesday or Thursday. By the time the season is almost at an end, you are ready for a break. But, "off season" really isn't "off season". Most think that drivers just park their car in the garage until about a month before season start time, but really..."off season" means breaking the car down to the chassis and figuring out what to replace, rebuild, or redesign. It is a whole process that takes up most of the "off season" and garage time continues.

THE FEAR
     When I talk about Chris' racing to friends or family that have never experienced it, the first thing they say is "it sounds dangerous". Dirt track racing is a dangerous sport. But, he is in a roll cage, wears a 5-point harness, fire suit, fire shoes, gloves, a helmet, and a neck brace. He has all of the safety equipment to try and keep him safe. Racing is a rubbin' is racing type of sport. There is a lot of contact between cars, spin outs, fires, and rolls.
     There is no other feeling like the feeling you have before your husband goes out for a race. I kiss him and tell him I love him before he gets in the car, not knowing if anything will happen. I stand in the back pit area and watch and cheer him on. But, anytime he gets spun out or gets into a wreck, I cringe. Thankfully he has never rolled his car, but his brother did and I will never forget the feeling of watching it roll and running to get to the car as fast as we could to make sure he was ok.
     Chris has had one bad wreck, and the feeling I had, I never want to have again. He was racing in the Thumper (stock car) division that year. I had been standing on the back wall in the back pit area with his dad and brother. When you stand in the back pit, you can't see the front straightaway that well. You can see them head into the straightaway and you can see them come out in the corner. We were watching the race and they all headed onto the front straightaway and next thing we know, the red light is out. Typically, the red light mean a bad wreck and all the cars have to stop on the track. With a yellow light, cars have to stop the race, but they can continue to drive around the track while the caution is taken care of. So, the red came out and the drivers started to pull around to the back to park for the red, and we heard over the loud speaker that Chris was in the wall.
     His brother and dad started to run off to get to him, and told me to stay put as we couldn't tell how bad it was. I remember grabbing my chest and dropping to the ground as the ambulance pulled out onto the track. I had tears in my eyes and a friend of mine said I was as white as a ghost. I heard over the loud speaker that he was ok, and getting out of the car. A few minutes later, I see them towing the car off the track and I see Chris running my way. He jumped over the wall, dropped his helmet, picked me up in a bear hug and told me he was fine and that he was sorry. I told him don't be sorry about the car, and he said he wasn't sorry about the car, he was sorry he put me through that.
     Racer's take the track knowing something can go wrong, they are well aware of the safety issues and know that it takes a special kind of crazy to love someone who races a car.

BABY J'S FUTURE AT THE TRACK
     Racing is a family tradition, so we wouldn't be shy about putting Baby J into the racing scene. We plan on having him race carts by the time he is 5 years old. A lot of people don't agree with us taking him to the track in the pit area because cars are all over the place in the pit area and you have to pay attention. But, as long as we are paying attention as parents, and know what's going on and where he is, it is completely ok.
     Baby J is 9 months old and has been to the track numerous times. Of course he was in a stroller or strapped to one of us the whole time so it wasn't hard to keep track of him, but he enjoys it. I went to the track every weekend when I was pregnant with him so the sound of the cars soothes him. He does wear ear protection as it is loud out there though.
     Chris took this year off to spend as much time with Baby J since they grow so much in their first year, and he knew it would be hard to keep him on a schedule if we went racing and we didn't want to throw him off every weekend by going to the track.
     I think next year Chris will be racing again and Jayden will be old enough to actually watch the race and see his daddy race. Chris is looking forward to sharing those moment with him and teaching him the right and wrong about racing. I just need to be prepared to handle Baby J while Chris is racing, as I am usually a frantic mess!

Racing is a family sport, it is a hobby, it is a passion. Take an interest in your loved ones hobby. It takes a special kind of crazy to deal with the life of a racer. It's not easy by any means. Be dedicated to dealing with the struggles that are to come. It is a time consuming hobby. If you don't enjoy it, realize that you may not get to spend as much time with your spouse as you would hope for. Since I enjoy it, I don't mind hanging out in the garage and going to every race. Just support them either way.

I hope you got an idea as to how it is as a wife of a racer. I can go on and on about the subject but I'll spare you the randomness.

Thanks for stopping by Our Fast Track Family!

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-Danielle